Just be gentle with that

Behind my back pastel drawing (Fire Horse?!)

Just be gentle with that he said, as I sat puffing in my chair - and the visible settling:

Just

Be

Gentle

with

That.

Those big, hairy, sharp, cutting, sore, bleeding pieces that need the attentive mother (or father’s) attention.

This day I sit with how violent I am with myself, inside myself.

I can hardly tell its happening - I’m not hearing words, I just know by the way my body feels: beaten - thrown down, kicked and sore.

How can I treat myself like this?

I think of my daughter and how tenderly I love her. I choose to turn this same love back on myself.

Its so needed. And will have to become a practice - an essential practice. Because: I don’t like living in a body that is both beat down from the wild ride of life, then bashed and hurt within the deep recesses of this beautiful body.

Its going to take time and attention. And daily, hourly, practice.

And, this changes everything - what is loving myself?

Its something in this direction… easy now,

Just be gentle with that.